Praised Fucking Be

Warning: Spoilers the size of Jupiter for season 3, episode 11 of The Handmaid’s Tale (Liars). If you haven’t watched it yet, that’s your problem.

PRAISED BE BITCHES THE HANDMAID’S TALE IS FINALLY BACK ON TRACK AFTER NINE EPISODES OF RAGE AND CONFUSION 🎉🎉🎉

I am, as I’ve mentioned, a diehard Handmaids book fan and an extremely wary TV fan. This is partly because I never got into the habit of watching TV while growing up but mostly because I’ve spent years watching Hollywood butcher books. Somebody somewhere on the internet (probably tumblr) suggested that what every Hollywood literary adaptation really needs is a book slapper, who reads the book and then slaps the director with it every time they say “Yeah, but what if…?” THAT IS LITERALLY MY IDEAL JOB.

It’s true that book June (who technically isn’t named June, but that’s an issue for another post) is harsh in her assessment of other women, particularly Janine. It’s true that she’s not the most admirable person. It’s true that she deplores a lot of her thoughts and actions throughout the course of the book. That’s all fine, but the first eight episodes of season 3 were difficult to get through because of certain issues with June’s character, which were enumerated three weeks ago and need not be repeated here. I am not a loyal fan, at least as regards most TV shows, and I have no problem admitting that I lost faith about seven episodes in. Then came episode 11.

HOLY. SHIT.

YAAASSSSSSS QUEEN I AM 100000000000% BACK ON THE JUNE TRAIN KILL THEM ALL 🔥🔥🔥 plus they played this great Kate Bush song while Commander Winslow was being very efficiently slotted into the furnace thank you Oprah Mag for ID’ing this for me 😀 and then there was this moment:

my heart 😭 I was wondering when June’s hand-picked Marthas were going to show up, hopefully we’ll get to see more of them either in this season or the next since Handmaids has just been renewed for season 4. And even with all that THE EPISODE STILL WASN’T DONE BEING AWESOME BECAUSE IT ALSO GAVE US THIS

FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL

I figured Serena was going to sacrifice Fred to the Canadians and then try to run off to Hawaii with Nichole and damn if I wasn’t right. I’m onboard with sacrificing Fred, let’s all keep our fingers crossed! (That being said, I’m gonna be really pissed off if Serena ends up in Hawaii with a baby but considering this is The Handmaid’s Tale that doesn’t seem too likely.) This all ties back to what Lawrence was saying earlier about Fred not being the brightest cus it seemed pretty obvious he was being lured into Canada where he could be ambushed and arrested I mean dude you even said yourself that Serena would ditch you in a heartbeat for a man who could give her a baby what in the name of Merlin’s most baggy Y-fronts were you thinking 😂

tl;dr

Episode 11 was amazing. This was more along the lines of what I thought season 3 would be like. Watch it. Love it. Light some candles and/or incense and help me pray for the last two episodes to stay on bloody target. (And also please pray for my car, which is very very sick. 😭)

P.S. Oprah Mag has a running list of the season 3 soundtrack here. Blessed be the Froot Loops.

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