I quit.

By close of business of 3/28/19, I will be unemployed without any job offers. I do, however, have a million and one ideas, 13% of a plan, a strong and loving support group, and a sprinkle of motivation.  Do I feel free? Absolutely. Am I scared? Yes. Was this reckless? Perhaps.

I loved the job and have grown friendships with many of my colleagues; I was also doing more than stellar work according to my performance review, and the pay and benefits weren’t so bad. Then why, one might ask, would I sacrifice the comforts of steady pay and benefits?

Because I sacrificed sleep, time with my loved ones, my mental health, and even food; I literally starved myself. Months of sudden sickness that came and went, then a whole month of constant nausea and random vomiting, sometimes at 2 o’clock in the morning, along with numerous doctor visits, pregnancy tests and blood work that all came back negative or inconclusive, poking and prodding, weighing and analyzing – I was at the brink of insanity. Finally, my general physician and I combed through the last seven months of my life:

50- to 60-hours or more work weeks, often working through nights and weekends. Eating one meal or snack per day, only drinking coffee. Barely sleeping, if at all. Constant exhaustion.

After a long conversation with my GP, during which she pointed out that I had lost 20 lbs since August, it was clear I had unintentionally shrunk my stomach so that anything more than what I was used to, which was only an XL hot coffee, my body was rejecting.

The realization of what I had done to myself hit me pretty damn hard – I became a corporate potato, sacrificing so much of myself, only to ensure the wealth of a corporation. So, I had to make a choice, and I chose me with my one million and one ideas, my 13% of a plan, my amazing loved ones, and the little bit of motivation. I will conquer whatever it is I am meant to conquer. Perhaps I’ll start with everything I have left unfinished.

Arlington

I wasn’t sure why I was doing it — if I was running towards some kind of freedom from the chasm that losing you tore in my heart, or merely trying in vain to put some distance between myself and its crumbling precipice, lest I teeter too close and tumble over the edge.

The last fifth of a mile loomed ahead; the screams of the Marines drowned out by the roaring in my own ears.

It wasn’t the steep incline that stole the air from my lungs. It was the place. Of all the places — of all the goddamned places they could end this race, they chose your resting place. The very place where my lungs never failed to seize up. The place where my throat closed, choked with tears that I refused to let reach my eyes, forcing my jaw to clench.

“Breathe, you idiot,” my brain demanded of my lungs.

The hill was a battle — the incline sharp, and the curve in it merely insult unto injury. But the real beast was my thoughts. The haunting sound of rifle volleys that I would never escape. The crisp autumn air that neither of us could breathe.

So much of my heart has been laid to rest on these grounds. It calls me every time I set foot back here.

I knew then. I wasn’t running away from the chasm. I was sprinting towards it, ready to take a bounding leap from that precipice back into the darkness.

Corporate Potato

Do you work long hours in an open office that could best be described as a dystopian hellscape?

Have you forgotten what sunlight feels like?

Do the majority of foods you eat come from a wrapper, paper bag, box, or styrofoam container?

Would you consider exercise a four-letter word and the stairs your mortal enemy (unless the alternative is sharing the elevator with another person)?

Have you had a decent night’s sleep… ever?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, you might be a corporate potato.

But don’t worry – you’re not alone. There is treatment available.

It’s called vodka. It’s made from our potato tears.

Stay salty, my friends.

It’s Raining Women

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!

wyrdgURLs has officially been live for a week! On this historic occasion, we wanted to thank all the wonderful friends who’ve agreed to follow us even though all we post is memes. We love each and every one of you.

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